friday nite @ church

it's 9pm mst. the radio plays my favorite tunes and i wait patiently for the group activity to depart. that would be another half hour at least. i thought i was going to be able to go home early tonite, but no such luck. the group didn't show up til the last minute. i thought it was canceled. almost...so i sit reading a book i picked up today, Jarhead by Anthony Swofford. Marsha and i had to go to Barnes & Noble today and we never walk out empty handed. low on cash, i found a $5.98 book in the 75% off section. this was the book, "a marine's chronicle of the gulf war and other battles". so i'm reading. it's raw and ugly. i ask myself do i need to read material like this anymore? have i not had enough of war stories? i'm wondering that it may be true. such a drastic change from reading my spiritual material. i mean i like to stay in touch with the world. war stories get me there in a heartbeat. but i think it's getting old. but this book, Jarhead is a good book. he writes it as the marine he is and has experienced, no putting it politely. it's just been awhile since i've heard the language and have forgotten about what really goes on in war. this guy really gives me the mind set of a grunt, and maybe most military personnel in the war zone. interesting to say the least on what goes thru a soldier's mind while in the war zone. it ain't a pretty picture. anyways, i'm a bit shocked. even being a veteran, i didn't know it was so rough. maybe it has to do with the branch you're in. and my nephew is a marine. maybe war just brings out the worse in these young men. it only gets whitewashed in the media. i know nothing like this has been written in the newspapers like this. it'd have to be edited too much. again, whitewashed. but it does bring some memories back while i was in the Air Force. just a pawn on the chess board. goodness, how my life has changed since then. my evolution and yet i still remain a bit tough. the convenience store snapped me back again with a tougher exterior. (just don't tell anyone i'm a big teddy bear inside) boy hiking sounds much more serene right now than being in tune with the world. can i live so happily while there such chaos and war elsewhere? that would be the question of the day..so i'll contemplate it for now. at the moment i must get ready to say g'nite to the church. it's been a quiet evening mostly until the book.