a mother's love

i sit patiently waiting for the phone to ring. i realized today is the 12th. tomorrow my son leaves for Iraq, a second tour. this time for at least a year. he'll be on "missions" he said moving about. my worse thought is he'll be more exposed to gunfire than the last tour. but this is what he desires. he wants to serve in Iraq. so as i realize today's signifance, i always recognize he hasn't called. so i called. called his wife for his number has already been disconnected. i passed the message on. he's to get his ass on the phone and call me or i'm coming to Iraq and going to kick it. these are the words of wisdom i use with him at times. it's his language. he can relate. but an hour has come and gone and no phone call. i know his priority is his wife now (which btw, she and baby are fine), but it doesn't stop me from worrying about him. for God's sake he's going to Iraq! if it was anywhere else, except Afghanistan maybe, i wouldn't worry at all. it's not a move just down the block or another state. it's into the war zone that continues there. God bless him and our troops for serving over there, but please come home safely. please say a prayer for him and his buddies. may they all make it home safe and sound....

in the meantime, 2 ministerial candidates have come & gone. one more to go. all the energy surrounding this process is wearing me out. it's exciting yet stressful too. i affirm we will choose the best of the candidates, but i have my worries too. this is like a presidential election. everyone choosing from simple things to the depth of the individual. it'll be interesting who will win. i'm ready for things to quiet down again. one more weekend and then we get on to the decision making...

i shall go for a hike tomorrow. i need the noursishment from Nature, a reflection of God's unconditional love and pure essence...

p.s. I saw Jesse today. i haven't seen him in a couple weeks. i almost cried when i saw him but i didn't thankfully. he's got such great strength and i admire his courage and determination to continue on despite the cancer....anyways, it's been an emotionally weekend for me for varioius reasons. i'm gonna let the tears flow...