Friday, April 30, 2010

another Color Carnival..#48

finished last week's, now the next......
....possibly new photos of another kind tomorrow. contemplating another road trip to Las Golondrinas and the Civil War demo...sleepin' on it tonight.....

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Color Carnival #47

I almost forgot about Color Carnival this it is....and if you haven't seen the other COLORFUL Pow Wow photos, scroll down to previous entries. you can also see more Color Carnival photos by clicking on my side bar>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>


I'm taking you back to last Thursday when I went birding.....our last stop were at some ruins (more photos on them soon). anyways, this was the sign right at the beginning of the trail. think we obeyed it...No....kinda like at our church. there needs to be a literacy test. I know occasionally I miss a sign, but this whole group missed it. fortunately we didn't meet a snake along the way. it was just a mental note I noticed while we were out. guess this is common though. many people knot reading signs. so much for RESPECT!!!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Red Sox Fan!!

Red Sox Fan!!! too......there were times the young men did not have their headress on but only and bandana or hat as above or something else. I had to capture him because I too am a Boston Red Sox fan. the beauty of the day will stay with me a long time.....if you'd like to see others' photos of this event, go to their home page and enter to see more photos... Gathering of Nations

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

the journey continues

another beautiful day today. I began my morn having coffee with a friend who became a minister last summer. she was at our church, but then moved on and started her own church. she wanted to chat about my decision to drop becoming a Practitioner. we had a very good chat. knot that I shared all the details, but I shared enough for her to know and understand where I am at the moment with that. she had some good insights for me and invited me to her Practitioner class this fall should I decide to finish the course and licensing. as she said, regardless of whether I do or knot, I am still a practitioner....and so I am. I know this. as I told her I will FEEL my way through this. I am still in too much pain at the moment from my church to make any decision on that. I have the whole summer to reflect, contemplate and decide. I love my friend's insights, knowledge and wisdom. she was knot pressing and very understanding and supportive. that I need most right now. right now I lay practitioning to rest at the moment. I'm taking it one step at a time. my first step is I need to move away from my church. I am still employed there and a bit still in the thick of things. I pray my new job opportunity arrives soon. then I can begin to heal more quickly and regroup. it's all good. good comes out of the pain for me. I stretch and grow more, deeper, wider perhaps. Life's challenges are worth the Change...... the meantime, I'd like to share a moment. yesterday I went down to Old Town looking for a new Cowgirl Straw hat. as I was driving down there, I remembered that the Native Americans (and some others) would be on the sidewalk selling Native jewelry. so indeed I strolled over there. I found a necklace from a young Navajo/Santo Domingo Pueblo woman. the necklace she told me after purchasing it that it is one they wear during the dances. how wonderful!!! the necklace is yellow, white, brown, red & turquoise, each a different stone/shell. she was kind enough to write them down for me. I'll keep it in my wallet at all times I will be wearing the necklace daily. I found a necklace with a bear, but liked this one better. I'll get the bear later. anyways, after chatting with her awhile, she invited me to the Pueblo's Feast (or Festival) in August, inviting me to her home too. I am honored by the invitation and will do my damnest to make it for sure. at the moment it looks pretty darn good. I will leave the camera at home, for they are not allowed, honoring & respecting their customs. anyways, I look forward to the event, the experience. anyways, this was the highlight of my day. a necklace and an invitation..... the meantime, later yesterday, I was playing with my own Cowgirl hat and ended up shaping into how I wanted it. I just saved me sum big bucks. I found one I liked in Old Town, but they wanted twice as much as I had originally paid for the first one I had. so needless to say, I'm a happy camper.....gotta run....more soon...hugz!

Monday, April 26, 2010

more Pow Wow....

so another photo from the Gathering of Nations Pow Wow. I'll be slow in getting the best ones posted. sum I need to tone down the brightness from the harsh sun here. most of the photos I took were random as I just walked through the stadium. a few I asked to pose for me or they were already posing for someone else. on a rare occasion someone didn't want their photo taken, so I respected their request. I could imagine getting tired of everyone taking their photos all the time. anyways, I had a great time there. I will do my best to go every year from now on if nothing else but to see the dancing and enjoying that. I was so moved by their dancing, almost to tears. I'm sure if I was closer to the dancing, there wood have been tears. soooo beautiful. the event was held at the UNM football stadium, with the dancing on the field and spectators up in the bleachers. almost half the stadium was full. many items to sell there. there was a necklace I didn't get back to buy. I debated it because I wanted to wear it daily and I'm rough on necklaces. it was a beautiful beaded necklace with a bear. didn't think I could wear it occasionally. I'll find another one and look for this one next year. there were lots of things I could have bought, but fortunately or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it, I didn't have the money. I'll go prepared next year. I did buy a t-shirt and an inexpensive necklace I could wear daily made out of antlers with a symbol on it. they didn't have 'bear' so I got 'horse' with a leather strap.....I wish I could have stayed all day and evening, but had to work. hopefully next year I can go both days, or all 3 days really. think I'll start looking for other Native American events just so I can surround myself with their presence. I don't need to be taking photos all the time of them. just enjoy their spirit. the few hours I was there was far worth the's a bit expensive. actually it wasn't that expensive, just the parking was for me. if I had a car load of people then parking wouldn't have been expensive, but it was just me. it was all worth it. money is money is money...o well.. I really enjoyed the people and the beauty of them all.....until next time...have a good one!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Gathering of Nations Pow Wow

so I went to the Gathering of Nations Pow Wow here yesterday. 17th Annual, but my first time. only spent a few hours because I had 2 go 2 work, but I had a wonderful time. I loved the dancing. this is a public event and if you're ever here in New Mexico, I highly recommend this event. this is one photo of many. I'll share more soon. it's been a busy past 4 days taking photographs every day for one reason or another: birding, church dance, pow wow, & a farewell party. I've had a great time photographing.. yeah I could do it for a living. anyways, it's late Sunday night. I'm exhausted. more on my experience of the Pow Wow soon. basically, I LOVED IT!!!!

Thursday, April 22, 2010


ok this little guy was moving all over the tree. I'm surprised I managed this shot. but with a lot of patience and perseverance, I got him!!!! to warm up after a cold rainy day. a hot tatty wood be real nice right now.....

i'll be damn.....kingfisher

a quik entry...i've got 2 run 2 work real soon....anyways, went birding today with the Audubon Bird Watcher's Club. my intent was to get an owl, but landed the kingfisher above. he's just bigger than a dot on the original photo, so I was able to crop him and he showed up pretty damn good in my opinion especially since my lens is only a 200m. I also got a warbler and I'll share him in the next entry. it was a good day out although it was a cold one in the mountains. 4 out of 20 people actually got to see the owl, I was knot one of them. another day I hope. but I learned sum good tips for chasing hawks and other wildlife. they showed me some places to check out and they also gave me directions to a fairly new wildlife refuge of sorts. so I look forward 2 those the meantime I talked to my camera man about a bigger lens. they're waaaaay expensive. he suggested a new body with more megapixels. I want both. all in time, but I also have some dental work to do as well. eventually I'll have all the lenses and cameras I want. anyways Life is Good today......and I sure think this kingfisher is a beauty!!!! 2 work I go....& happy hour with Paul!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Color Carnival #46

Ok..what gives here? this photo came up vertical twice, but it should be horizontal...any clues anyone? this is a new one on me. knot going to try and redo it again. the color is all I'm after.
....anyways, I'm now ready to be back to blogging on a regular basis now. took a week to unwind from all the change in my life. spent the past couple days contemplating what will I do now mode. I have no class and Julie isn't here. Big changes for sure with me. I have been in touch with Julie a few times via phone plus lots of email to her. I miss her. her presence in my life has been profound unbeknownst to me totally until her departure. I just may have to move back to California. she's where I used to live b4 arriving in NM over 20yrs ago. only time will tell if I do move back there.....
....anyways, I'm good today. did errands and went shopping for a few things I've needed. bought sum workout clothes. soon I will be finally working out in a gym somewhere. I contacted an old postal co-worker of mind who's a personal trainer to get me started. I'm determined to lose sum weight but also get back in some type of conditioning again after being sedentary the past 4yrs since retiring. so I'll start with my co-worker to get my ass motivated. can't seem to do it on my own. so will start that no later than 2 weeks away. looking forward to that.... the meantime, yesterday I learned about a bird watchers group that meets on Thursdays. will go tomorrow in chase of an owl and other birds. this will be great 4 photo opps but knot only that, in my younger days I enjoyed bird watching. so I'm going to check this group out tomorrow. that will be a good change too, meeting people outside of the church. I look forward to the adventure.
....back home at the hovel, I've begun reading Tony Hillerman books. I picked up a bunch of his books used at our HHOT book sale last summer. finished the one I started last summer, last night. good simple reading. initially it couldn't hold my attention, but I stuck with it and it finally got exciting. I think all of his books are set in the Southwest on Native American soil. anyways, it was a good read for a change. these will be my summer reading with maybe a 'spiritual' book on occasion. mainly I just want to Be ORDINARY right now. nothing spiritual. nothing special. just plain and simple for awhile. I'm way overdue in that department. so that's my agenda for the summer. plain. simple. kbear.
.....and that's the way it goes 4 now. if any luck, tomorrow night I'll post sum photos of an owl, maybe sum other birds. until then....have a great one!

Monday, April 12, 2010

heart of tears

It is easy in the world to live after the world's opinions; it is easy in solitude to live after your own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude -Ralph Waldo Emerson

i woke this morn with a heart full of tears. my heart aches for the departure of Julie. she means so much to me. she has meant much to others as well. i think her and i actually got closer within the last month since she announced her resignation. we had lunch a couple times, one as recent as a few days ago. it was through these lunches that i gained insight as to my struggles, she confirming what i already knew. the final piece came together reading the code required of practitioners. i knew without a doubt that i could knot adhere to that code. there was something very important to me missing in it=the human element. we can all talk spiritual ideas and thoughts but if we don't connect from our hearts, our humanity, then everything else has no meaning. i was getting a sense of this as i journeyed through the class. but finally reading it in bold print it was like night and day for me. there are good things in this 'philosophy' i have been learning, but i realized i must honor myself and my own beliefs as well, my truest and highest calling. i have gained much through this journey called practitioning but there is far more for me. i am grateful for the teaching and what i have learned of myself, but now is the time to move on. it was interesting that when Julie announced her resignation, I cried out Why God, Why? my Spirit answered in a whisper, "so you can have your freedom". what freedom? i thought i had it already. what did this really mean. well as i laid down to sleep last night, i finally FELT it. i knew the answer from deep within me. I am free to think how I desire. I am free to pray however I want (there was a particular way to pray), I am free to BE however I choose-i don't have to be someone i'm knot. I am free to come and go as I please without being bound by another organization-there were more rules to live by according to the code. I AM FREE!!!! I am a compassionate, loving, honest person living my own code of ethics, I don't need another set of code to change that. I could knot honor that practitioner's code for it did not align with my own integrity and who I am. I saw the good intent within that code, but I felt it fell flat in the human department. I have regain more of myself as I let this go, discovering more of me that which was forgotten long time ago. the journey as been worth it here in this philosophy for I've learned more of the real me there is. I am happy and content with who I am. I will still stretch and grow but there is this basic self of me. I continue onward marching to my own beat. the above quote arrived at my doorstep just in time. it came only a day or two ago. i'll keep it near so i can remind me of the drum for which i step. I am so happy I finally Honored myself.....I have been caged too long...

Sunday, April 11, 2010

2 New Beginnings

today is Julie & Ross' last Sunday with us. she gave an awesome talk on how to be Ordinary always remembering the human connection in lieu of always trying to be 'spiritual' all the time. it was right on with me for it is part of the reason I have recently ended my Practitioner's class in route to becoming a Spiritual Counselor. I just made this decision only a few nights ago. for a few months I have known something was not fitting right with me on this journey to become the Spiritual Counselor. with some recent events, much contemplation and a couple talks with Rev Julie (above), I was able to finally get clear that this is not what I wanted. something has not been right with me since last August. I am grateful to finally have clarity. at this moment I even question spirituality altogether. O I know there is God and It's all inclusive, but I wonder what spirituality is truly about. I will seek the answers. I know they will come in time, but I know God is personal for each of us, and so it is for me. I am soooo grateful to have met Rev Julie and Ross. they have become great friends. right now much is in question for me. I even question continuing living here in New Mexico-that began back in December. So as Julie and Ross have new beginnings for them, it is a new beginning for me in many ways. I have much to reflect and contemplate upon. Thankfully that's what my summers are for and this one is just around the corner. one journey is all but completed, another awaits me in the wind.....