Wednesday, October 29, 2008

stand in the heat!

well goodness...this mornin' began with phone calls to/from numerous of people, talking about Marsha's departure. first i called her. she's doing as well as can be expected. i talked with a few other people including my boss there for i gave her a hint in an email i might depart from my position on this. so anyways, after talking to everyone, i was headed for a motorcycle ride. so off i went to pick up the battery from the shop. it still wasn't fully charged, which means i may have a weak battery and may have to purchase a new one. so i canned the bike ride and headed to lunch. but i was getting out into the mountains today anyways, i'll just drive my jeep. as i was headed for some lunch first, i got a call from my boss (at church) that Rev Julie wanted to talk to me. well when she said her name i thought she said Rev Judy, for we do have her at our church to and serving as the interim minister at the moment. so i got the number, noticed it was out of state, but didnt think anything of it. well Rev Julie, our new minister, answered the phone. OMG!! uh, i didn't know i was calling you...anyways, her and i chatted about Marsha's departure but mostly about how i was feeling and reacting to it. she knows there's a division in the church and she knows people in most churches are really mean to each other. so she says something to me that made perfect sense. it went something like this "you must be willing to stay in the heat and walk thru the fire in order to create changes" she 's so right. and she told me that i was just getting my head banged into it at the moment. right i told everyone this morning, i can handle all this stuff everywhere else, but i had yet to learn how to handle it here in our church. and i realized that's because i expect more from the people at church. more loving, understanding and compassionate people. there are some there, but there are those that aren't....goodness, i know all this is God, it is Divine Right Action, but those words doesn't help ease the pain. but because of my talk with Rev Julie...i can't believe i talked to her...i will stay with the church. i was sooo ready to walk with Marsha yesterday and this morn. i cried my tears for Marsha. told her that they might as well have fired me. she joked "why, because we're joined at the hips?" she got me to laugh and she did last nite too. Marsha is hurting but she can always bring her sense of humor into the "bad" things happening in her life. she's just great....anyways, i'll stay and STAND IN THE HEAT! i pray Rev Julie can really bring us all to a place we can change ourselves so we change our community. i don't know if she really knows what she's getting herself into, but i hope we don't chase her away either.....
so i did go to the mountains. i took a hike. found my rock and was trying to meditate. just as i feel i'm about in a deep meditation while lying on my back, i feel something in my face. i open my eyes and it's a goodness, no meditation today. so i hiked back down. the dog was fine, just checking me out since he had run ahead of his owner. i just laughed and got up. i came down to a hot fudge sundae. while sitting for awhile after the sundae, i realized i was hung over a bit. i had drank a beer at Marsha's last nite. a beer type i hadn't ever drank. i have no idea how much alcohol content it had, but feeling lethargic as i was today, i'd say more than what i'm accustom to. as long as the hangover is gone tomorrow, i'll be fine. i feel better this evening than i did last night, but the hurt is still there. time will heal my wound. i'm just too close to the situation to be totally objective at the moment. i'm far better since talking with Rev Julie. i may take tomorrow totally off too although i have class tomorrow night (prac 1). there's a new dawn on the horizon. another day of adventure and treasures to find. coffee in the morn with some friends will start the day off right. i listen to my music. it heals my soul. i'll lose myself in it while watchin the World Series. it's been another learning experience...Life is a journey, not a destination.


Rose said...

I wish I could meditate. I try so many times but I can't seem to sit still long enough. I have CDs and books on the subject but I'm hopeless!

If you have any secrets on meditating, please share.

Hugs, Rose

Jeannette said...

I have never been able to meditate either. Yes, life is a series of experiences.