HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

hello everyone! i want to wish everyone a Happy New Year now...it's a couple days early, but my next 2 days will be busy. mostly i'm cleaning and chillin'. i'll be getting back to those home projects starting tomorrow. plus i need to take down the tree and trimmings. New Year's Day i hope to be spending time with Madison. what a great way to start a new year. once the new year day is over, i need to start homework again for my class. i've had the luxury of not doing anything for class for two weeks now. time to roll again. fortunately i've read two books in that time. i just finished Memoirs of a Geisha. that is a beautiful story. i saw the movie when it came out, but definitely enjoyed the book that much more. now i understand the movie a bit better too. so if you haven't read it, i highly recommend this one. it's beautifully told and written. a heart warmer for sure...

anyways, come this weekend, our new minister will be moving into town. i asked her to call me if she needs help, but right now i realize i also have something to do too for our hike group. i can postpone checking out our next hike, but i hope i don't have to. starting next week, i'll be doing the custodial duties too at the church for a short stint-i think. i'll be talking with our new minister once she arrives about the position, so there's a possiblity i'll continue doing sum of that job in the future as well. have no clue for sure right now. only time will tell. but the last few days i've been wondering if i want to work that many hours again. sometimes i miss working so much, yet othertimes, i know this illness says NO! i'll have a few weeks to contemplate the request made to me by the new minister of working more hours. again, i'll discuss this with her in our meeting once she's on board full time. sometimes i think i still have too much time on my hands and not sure what i want to be doing with it, so why not work more? i'll say a prayer for guidance and wait for the answer. it's all good no matter what happens. with my temporary at least new busy schedule i may not be on here as often as the past. i will stay in touch however. this is a nice place for a change in pace for the day or week. so you folks take care and i'll be in touch soon....again HAPPY NEW YEAR!

a buffalo burger...

O my achin' back....i sit enjoying my buffalo burger here at home. Marsha got me hooked on these burgers a few months ago and i finally found a place i could buy them in bulk and bring them home. Yummy! for $2 per burger here, it beats the local Fuddruckers at $10 for the meal. just as tasty too...so anyways, today i began those home projects again that i had started back in august i think. i finally got back to it. now that i have another week off before having to study for class again, i'll dive into and finish it this time. i'm calling it my winter cleaning that's usually done in the spring. spring gets here, i want to be outside, not in doing home projects. so i started with my books. i had a bookcase in the narrow hallway and decided it was time to get rid of it. with this in mind, i concluded i needed to rid myself of sum other books located in my second bedroom on 4- 4 tier bookcases, standing over 6' tall. so i unloaded and reloaded and put them in plastic bags since i didn't have boxes. i cleared a ton away. some i recognized as 20 yrs or more old. i kept the ones i really enjoyed and may reread some day. during the process of bending, twisting, and whatever else i was doing, i put a strain on my lower back. i came out to load the roll-a-way bed into the jeep (with the help of Marsha) and lo & behold, i felt the ache. i'm still achin' but i'm not stopping-just taking a break at the moment. what this tells me AGAIN, is i have too much weight on me AND i'm totally out of conditioning. i already knew i was way too heavy. and to top it off, while going thru books, i found photos of when i was "skinny". those photos are only about 5yrs old, if that long. what a difference retirement has made. Marsha didn't even recognize me in the photos. so anyways, i'm going to post one of those photos on the frig and use it to make my goals of exercising and diet i'm beginning like yesterday. i almost started the weights and crunches this morn, but want to move that set inside somewhere so i know i'll use it more often. i'm also going to ask my psychriatrist if i can use acai berry to help me lose weight. my guess is she'll say no, but i'm going to stay optimistic for a yes this time. anyways, reality has set in and it is time now to lose the weight and get myself back into some type of shape health wise. this is my main and maybe only New Year's resolution. i'll let everything else in my life take care of itself....
anyways, Christmas was fine. i went to the church potluck and then to someone else's house. this acquaintenance at church has been trying like forever and a day to get me to her house, so i finally went for a short visit. her business partner is starting some classes on extraterrestrials so i wanted to inquire on that. since i've been reading Sitchin's book regarding E.T.s, i was curious as to what this guy had to say. needless to say, i won't take the class after learning more about it. i will read more of Sitchin's books though and educate myself that way. i did finish the one book of his on Christmas day. interesting to say the least, but i'm not going to get into when will they return, which sum people think it'll be 2012. i feel they're already here and if & when they show themselves to the masses again, i'll let others determine that. my mind has been broaden a bit more by reading this book. i'm anxious to learn more, but that'll be down the road. i recommend it if you have an open mind to the bible being referenced about the extraterrestrials that were here a long time ago. the book= The End of Days...by Zecharia Sitchin....so anyways, i'm done with my sandwich and i'm back to my projects for a tidbit. Hope everyone has a Happy New Year!

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Have a JOYous day filled with LOVE and wonderful memories for the year to come....

Christmas with Madison

she's too cute....& too funny!.....tonite was my night at Marsha' with Madison and family in tow. Madison is such a delight. Pure Joy. she just tickles me pink. Marsha had green chili stew ready for us upon our arrival. Madison with her mom & dad showed up within a few minutes after i did. i didn't know it until they left later this evening, that this was Marsha's night of Christmas with them tonite. anyways, so we ate our stew, except for Madison she had cheese tortillas with a few pears. once we were finished, i entertained Madison by taking her picture. she literally posed for me and did so in all of these photos. once her picture is taken, then she has to come see the picture on back of the camera. she does this all the time. she knows it's her and likes looking at her own photos. sometimes she'll even kiss the photo on the camera while Marsha and I laugh heartedly. after photos, Madison was given the go ahead to open the presents. she knew they were hers, and most of them were. we saved my gift for last for it would be the only toy to play with tonite. Marsha had given her her toy a few days ago-a talking bus to spell her ABCs and hopefully help teach her to talk. she speaks a few words, but has yet to be miss chatty cathy. we all know once she gets started, it'll probably be tough to keep her quiet. but we are anxiously awaiting. anyways, these are a few photos i snapped as she opened her presents. again she was posing for these photos, directly looking at me while i shot the picture. once she opened my present, the remote control car, she was almsot all play. she loved the car as long as it didn't come near her. she became afraid once it got near her feet. but as long as the car was running far away from her, she would yell go and pump her little arms in excitement. so it's going to take a little while for her not to be afraid of it. she enjoyed playing with the remote and making it go, but was literally running for someone or the couch if it came her direction. i know in time she'll adjust and will no longer fear it. when she could, she'd push the car on her own and had no fear. she actually got fussy when her dad was packing it up to take home with them. she insisted on having it in her hands...lol....anyways, all in all it was a good night. later Madison curled up in my arms and insisted on looking at the book Marsha gave me for Christmas=60 Hikes within 60 Miles of Albq. it's a great book. i knew i was getting it but tonite was the first time i actually got to look inside it. to top the evening off, Marsha & i had hot chocolate, made with milk this time. the kids were on their way home and it was our time to unwind. to my delight, Marsha was really happy with her gift i gave. another lamp made of glass blocks from one our friends at church. i just recently got my own as well. they're absolutely beautiful. anyways, Marsha now has one to go in her bedroom for year round.....it was a great evening. something to put in my memory books. what a great extended family i have. how blessed i am for their presence in my life!

It's a GIRL!!!

alas, i just found out that my grandbaby is going to be a girl! whew hoo! her name will be Glenna Brooke. her first name is after her biological grandmother who went missing years ago. i'm sooo happy for my son and his wife. i hope he isn't too disappointed with the gender for he wanted a boy. i know he will love this little girl with all his heart and they will try for a boy again later. he'll find out tonite when he calls Earma. she's going to try and do another 3way call to me so i can wish him Merry Christmas. I'm excited! i can't wait to hear his response about the news. Earma has decided to stay in Hawaii and have the baby due to doctor's recommendations. i found out she has placenta prezia, but today she was told that it is absolving. that was more good news which means less complications for the pregnancy. if i can save my pennies to be there when the baby is born, i will. if i get my bike sold, there's a good chance i could go over there. if not, i'll wait until she comes this way as she travels to Arkansas once the baby is born. it's all good. now i'll have to go window shopping for baby clothes and things which will be really exciting. i'm getting purple clothes. wearing purple brings peace around the Being (person). so this is a great Christmas gift today. i'll be wearing a smile for days on end....

hot chocolat...

yummy. a cup of hot chocolate tonite. it's cold outside but i'm lovin' the change. it's only gettin' into the mid 40s which is typical weather for us for the winter. with the sun shining it makes for pretty good winter weather. the snow has already melted with a tidbit left in the mountains. if all goes well, i'll go up there monday mornin and see if there are any photos to be captured.....tonite i wrapped my last gift for Christmas. all presents under the tree. although few in numbers, under the tree is fully loaded due to the sizes of the gifts. i'm looking forward to tuesday night where most of them will go to Marsha's. i get to spend time with Sugar Plum and i anxiously await to see how she enjoys her remote control car. i got a very bright red one. after playing with it myself, i think to myself i need to buy one for me too...lol. anyways, only a couple days away for the night of Christmas for me. then finally wednesday i get to have lunch with Maggie. it's been forever and a day since seeing her. she's just so darn busy during the fall with her work, that i rarely get to say hi except by phone. so i look forward to that lunch. then Christmas day it's just me and my four-legged kids, unless i decide to go to the potluck at church-which i doubt. i seem to be spending more time there lately and it's not going to get much better. our custodian is resigning the first of january and Rev Julie has asked for my help until they decide to hire again or merge the duties with my current position as facility assistant. i'll be anxious to talk with her once she's here next month for good. Change, the only true constant in our lives....

anyways, i started another book. The End of Days, Armageddon and Prophecies of the Return, by Zecharia Sitchin. it's about the the extraterristrials living here on earth very long ago and the reference to them in the Bible. this is one of the several in this series. it's very interesting to say the least. i'm anxious to finish it and it's a small book of history from Semurian writings and the Bible. i will order all the other books related to this in the near future. i'm anxious to learn more....anyways, i finally gave up on Jarhead. i kept getting a headache while reading it. although i only have a fraction of it to finish, i feel it's best for my health not to complete it. i've gotten the jist of it and that's enough. i'd rather focus on more peaceful reading. dark shadows seemed to hover over me while i read it and i just don't want to go there anymore. war is ugly and this book gives its mentality picture of it. again pretty damn degrading to the human spirit. i knew Marines had it tougher than the other branches, but this book really brought it to light. God bless them!....

well, i'm off to watch women's volleyball. rarely do i get to see it and its the NCAA Final Championships. it's time to relax and enjoy sum more....

merry christmas 2 me:-)

Merry Christmas to me:-)....and Jesse too. so today was a great day for me. first i recently had a financial crisis come up and today i got it taken care of. that made my day. then to top it off i also got to buy my new bifocals. i've been waiting like forever and a day to get them and alas the cash came in for them too. i've got them on now, but still adjusting. it's been months, since wearing bifocals. i have to adjust to that line from the bifocal to the rest of the glasses. i know in no time i won't even notice it. the same thing happened when i first began wearing them. right now having my farsightedness and the bifocals are such a relief. no more blurr except the ever so slight blurr where the bifocal begins. then the finality of the day was finish my Christmas shopping. all presents done. and today i got an extra one for Jesse. i was originally going to get him a gift card, but over the weekend his phone went kaput. so i found a AT&T Go phone that works just fine with the Cingular card in his current phone. it was within my budget and i could not see paying out $200 just to buy a regular phone without the contractual issues attached. i gave it to him tonite. we hooked it up and it works. the last several days has been tough not being able to call and check in with him. then when his phone did start working again today, it would disconnect while we were talking. anyways, to say the least he was happy. (ME TOO!) now everyone can get a hold of him without problems. he's holding up. there are days he's out for the count so to speak, then he has several days in a row he's up and about like he doesn't have cancer. he's just absolutely amazing. i'm going to miss him. i don't want to say good-bye. anyways, today i bought a new steering wheel cover for my jeep and i asked him to put it on. i didn't know it had rubber in it, but some how miraculously Jesse was able to get it on. it was great visiting with him again today. just a few days ago i hung out with him all day. he again helped me with my jeep. we changed the brake light. we put on a license plate he had hanging around onto my jeep but we had to move the wrench a little to get it on. then we put window washer in the jeep. then i helped him clean out his truck and load it with stuff for him to sell at the flea market. that was one of his good days. the more time i spend with him, the more i treasure it. all in all it's a great day today. it was a very good Merry Christmas day gift to myself. time spent with friends. accomplishing some financial goals. getting my new glasses. i'm delighted. a very blessed day indeed!

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure
It is our light, not our darkness,
that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I
to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and faublous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people
won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest
the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permision to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

(Marianne Wiliamson as quoted by Nelson Mandela in his 1994 Inaugural Speech)

this is in our workbook for class. there are a few more i will share. for a moment tonite this spoke to me. i hope it enlightens you as it has me...

let it snow, let it snow....

we are blanketed with snow here in the city. it fell and fell and fell all day yesterday. i have not been out, but the roads were treacherous last night and this morn (Marsha informed me). although there's only about 3inches of snow, not too many people here in the city know how to handle it. plus since we are in higher elevation, the roads freeze sooner than later. it is beautiful this morn as it was yesterday. the birds flock just outside my door. i put the last of bird feed i had out. will pick up twice as much tomorrow. for the past several days they have come in numbers all day looking for food. so i'll start feeding them twice a day again until the spring time. i feel bad that i don't have enough for them at this moment, yet i know they will be fine for i think to myself, there was no food out there before i put the feeder up. yet my heart goes out to them....anyways, there's another storm on its way. it may last a couple days therefore shutting the city down for a few more days until the sun comes out again and melts it all away. one person in my crew at work lives out on the other side of Sandia Mtns. she's been snowed in for a couple days already not being able to get anywhere. that mountain range holds back a hell of lot more snow than we get here in the city. living up there myself years ago, we'd get 2-3 feet, not inches in comparison. but O is it so beautiful. if i get a chance, i'll drive up there and take some photos, but not today. more than likely the interstate is closed anyways that leads that direction. but most of all it's just too damn dangerous with New Mexico drivers. as i've mentioned before, they drive like it's dry pavement regardless of weather conditions speeding their asses off down the road. anyways, i see at the moment a bit of sunshine peeping thru the clouds. it's going to be a great day to lay back here at home and read a book, do homework or just plain fun stuff. Life is Good today-as always it is....

Sugar Plum fix...

alas! i got my Madison fix last night. it's been since Thanksgiving since Marsha and i got to visit. i told Marsha that she needs to get Diana to let us have her once a week. that was my usual time with her until Diana moved them out of Marsha's house. anyways, it was a wonderful visit although i was plain tuckered out for the night. i worked all day after working late friday night. it's been awhile since working a full day saturday so i had forgotten how long the day can get. however at the end of the work day, i did get to talk to Rev Julie a bit. we had a great chat. she's such a good influence for me and support. i can hardly wait until she's on board full time which i now know will be beginning Jan 11th. at least i have a date to look forward to. i will talk with her as much as i need to in order to get thru the church politics. and ya know those politics are not much different than at the p.o. the problem has been i keep letting my guard down at church. i realized after our chat yesterday i need to put up that postal mentality of mine there=i really don't give a damn and take everything with a grain of salt and keep trucking. i also stayed away from the politics at the p.o. somehow though people at the church find me and give me an ear full. i've been struggling as far as what to say to them, but yesterday at the end of the day, i remember the thought "be the change you wish to be" and i'll start being a broken record with that. and it finally hit me that's it's been all the anger that's been getting to me. so i've got to find a way to steer away from it. i'm already working on a plan. but with Rev Julie's support, i can hold up better. i'll say my prayers for God's support too, daily......anyways, yesterday was a good day. i'm just worn out and i woke with a cold this morn. and wouldn't you know it, i'm out of tea. for sum unknown reason i always like hot tea when i have a cold, but i'll have to settle for coffee this morn. i'm also taking my whiskey too. i have my flask in the car and will take a shot if the sniffles get worse today. i've never drank at church before, but there's always a first time...lol for now, i'm off. maybe get a little more sleep before church services this morn. Blessings my friends. i have a great day!

thought for the day

In this day of degeneration when one meets with all sorts of problems and adverse circumstances, the practice of generating positive thoughts is very effective. If someone lacks this practice, even though that person might be a serious meditator, he or she will meet with many hardships and hurdles. ~Dalai Lama, The Path to Tranquility

so this is the thought for today. this book gives a thought for each day that was quoted by Dalai Lama thru his writings, teachings and interviews. there are many great thoughts in this book. i'll will post the ones i like the best or could serve others immensely. sum quotes include words associated with Buddhism and at this time i don't understand the message, so therefore i wont' post those. yet all in all, this is a great book to have for daily wisdom to read. i'll be seeking other books as well eventually, but for now i'll still focus on our philosophy and Ramtha teachings. after finishing all of my practitioner courses, i want to read the Bible in its entirety so i'm a little more familiar with it. it is another source of wisdom but not THE only one. i had to leave Christianity to find my own spirituality. i have no regrets. there is good in all things. for me it's finding those common threads that we all have in our spirituality and moving even further beyond that. Ramtha teaches the ancient wisdom and how to wake up just like Jesus did as well as other Masters before him. i have no doubt we have the power to do just as Jesus did, although i'm not there yet myself. i have far more to learn before getting there. in time, that's what i truly desire. i'm still working on how to be in this world but not of it. that's a mindful task as it is. i am attached here to Mother Earth and all my family & friends. i'll know when it's time to go and move beyond this plane. there are other worlds to explore, but for now my heart belongs here....
a note to myself

give me music

coffee's brewin. i sit listenin' to Kenny Chesney. i hadn't put on his music in a long time. goodness, i won't wait so long the next time. i was listenin' to the radio but i get so dog gone tired of commercials and DJ chatter. so i pulled out my cds. listenin' to this first cd is soooo relaxin'. he has such his own unique style, but most of it seems to be centered around relationships. i think that's why i put it away for awhile since i don't have that right now in my life, but that's ok too. there's a time and a season for that waiting for me. i didn't know i could even go there anymore until i was hangin' with Jesse the other day. it's nice to know i can with the right person when he shows up (or she). but for now i'm happily content to be alone so to speak. we are never alone ever really. for if it isn't for our friends and family around us, then there are those in the unseen watching us. it's comforting knowing i have both and indeed i have both, for i have experienced both. now is just the time to enjoy each moment as it unfolds.
anyways, last nite i did pretty good on the test. we actually went over it question by question then turned it in at the end. it was nice to discuss it. due to sum of the discussion, i had a disturbing dream this morn and woke about 5:30am. the discussion surrounded sexuality issues but i came to realize that this includes pedophiles and other deviant behavior. so anyways, it was an eye opener for sure. we can refer clients to someone else if we ourselves have a problem with the issues at hand, but as best as we can we must see everyone as whole, perfect and complete. that people are not their behaviors just behaving with a belief that says they're separate from God. in our philosophy we know we are not separate from God, but an individualized expression of God. we know we create our lives from The Source-God and are responsible for them. we believe in a Law of Cause and Effect which does not absolve people from their actions. anyways, last night was a good learning lesson for me even with a few other questions on the test. i'm happy we didn't actually have to "take" the test over which they do sometimes in these classes, only giving you a sample test to prepare. Tests just totally stress me out. thank goodness, it's over. now i can relax a little while. we'll meet next week, then we are off from class over the holidays. i can then catch up with sum more reading...
speaking of reading...last week after my therapy session i went to Barnes & Noble to look for a meditation book. something to read daily to begin my day. well i picked up Dalai Lama, The Path to Tranquility. i like it thus far and will from time to time enter one of his thoughts or quotes. i also picked up The Kahlil Gibran, Inspirational Writings. i've read one chapter of it and felt like it wrote my heart. there's another book i'm reading right now too, if i haven't mentioned it. it's Turning to One Another by Margaret Wheatley. i must read it a bit at a time to absorb slowly what she says. it's another good book. once Christmas has arrived, i'll finish Jarhead. i'm determined to finish that book to see his conclusion. then i have a stack of other books i'm ready to read including a mystery i think. so many books, so little time...lol anyways, it's all good. Life is good, bad and ugly...ya gotta love it!

Dear God....from kids

yesterday i got this email with these notes to God from kids. these are just a few of them, but they were worth sharing. i got the biggest kick out of all of them...if you'd like the email, let me know in the comments and i'll forward it to you. hope you enjoy these. i think my favs are the bottom two here...

anways, we got a little snow this morn. as i went to my eye doc, flurries were falling and looking so beautiful. we only got about an inch here in town, but by the time i was out of the appointment, it was gone except right up next to the mountain where i am. snow rarely comes and stays in the city. it'll hang out in the mountains, but that's about it. i miss sometimes living in the mountains as i did years ago. but then we'd get tons of snow up there and it rarely hit the city. O the beauty... so anyways, i now have my prescription to get new glasses. i did order from the VA but it's going to take 6-8weeks long before they're here. i won't wait. i'll go somewhere and get a cheap pair next week when i get paid. i can hardly wait to have glasses i can see far in. i'm a bit farsighted and with the readers i can't read anything far in them. they've been good for my homework and books, but that's it. my glasses will be my Christmas gift to myself....
yesterday afternoon i spent my time with Jesse. it's the first time we've had alone in a long time. always seeing him at church. maybe that's a good thing because i can easily fall for this guy, if i'm not already. i absolutely love this guy for various reasons. i really like him too and find him attractive. i had no idea until yesterday that hanging out with him was stirring up emotions i haven't felt in a very long time for anyone. It's all good. i have my head on straight, but the heart is talking. nothing will probably come of it, but it's nice to know i can still connect with someone on that level. in the meantime, he would like to do a train trip sometime as part of his Bucket List. if he hangs around long enough for me to get together sum dough, i'll go with him. but right now he is day to day and we never know when he may finally leave his body behind. he still absolutely amazes us all by getting up almost every day and living. he's just amazing. anyways, i enjoy him. he's a blast! i hope he does make it to the spring time, then we'll take that train ride....after this test this week, i'm going to try and spend a whole lot more time with him even if it's just a few hours a day. he really appreciates me calling him daily, so a visit will probably make his day even better. i'm looking forward to it...
in the meantime, i finished my test material tonite. tomorrow i'll type it. not sure how she's going to handle the test, whether we'll do a whole new one thursday nite, just go over this one, or turn it in. regardless i'll be prepared. after getting a little help from my mentor and her encouraging words, i feel better about becoming a practitioner. i just need to keep building my confidence. once i'm thru december, i think i'll be just fine. i feel good right now and the blues are less and less thank goodness. ever since i painted my tree, it's given me such a great lift. it's all good. now to finish my little bit of shopping next week. Life is a good and a blessing.

christmas tree '08

O Christmas Tree...O Christmas Tree...
well i finally decorated my tree tonite..Yippie! now it's beginning to feel like Christmas:-)! i took a couple photos to show how my Sugar Plum Tree is looking all lit up. i like it. i love it. i want sum more of it...anyways, i had a good time decorating. it's small and i keep it simple. that works for me. no music while decorating, but the football game is on. i realized i need more Christmas music cds to play in lieu of the occasional song on the radio. i'll see what's on sale after the holiday. i'll mix it up with various artists. but the game is good. i'm back to workin' sunday afternoons again. so i don't get to see my teams play, but they both won today:-) i'm going to go shoppin for a very small portable tv to take in with me if i have the funds. i'll be back workin both saturday and sunday again, but that's ok. once Rev Julie is here full time, i'll want to go listen to her on sundays anyways. plus it might be a good idea to be there if she needs me since she knows me as the main facility assistant at our church. i can hardly wait until she gets here. she'll be here next weekend and will give the talk. but then she'll arrive the mid of January permanently. i could really use her ear right now about somethings regarding church. i'll just wait patiently for her guidance. as much as i've tried to stay out of church politics, today i realized i let myself get drawn into it a bit. need to learn how to handle that better so i'm not in the midst of it especially if i'm going to be a practitioner. and btw, i did learn i can be a practitioner however i'd like and not take on clients. i probably won't shut that door completely, but there are other things like teaching that i can do with my ministry. first, i need to get thru the classes. our first test for this class is this week. i'm a little stressed about it, but i'm going to prepare myself as best as i can. we were given a test sample to use as a guide. i've got half of it done. should finish it tomorrow. that'll give me a couple days to really study and know my material. anyways, it's all good. i'll keep you posted on the results.
in the meantime, i went on our church hike yesterday. that was really nice. the new year is coming and i'm going to start my hiking resolution the week of Christmas. we won't have class during the holiday weeks, therefore i can play to my heart's content. this will be great for i can get a routine down for my hiking schedule. if it's not too cold, i'll get my bike out too (bicycle that is). but i'm also going to do some home projects like clean out and reorganize sum rooms. i look forward to that tremendously. i'm getting rid of things that are just collecting dust. anyways, more on that laterz.
last but not least, i sent my son a Hickory Farms package today. it should arrive before Christmas and it better for the arm and leg i spent in postage for it. after driving away from the mall, it dawned on me i could have taken it to the p.o. and put it in a priority box and saved me $10 on postage. next time i'll remember. the postage only cost a few bucks less than the package itself. Goodness, they're making a killin'. so much for my belly achin'.......
Life is Good! it's Christmas time again....

Knut

so, did you read about Knut in the news today. the famous bear whom i absolutely love and know little about, he is possibly being evicted from his zoo. he's out growing his space and if i read it correctly they may not have the money to enlarge his area. this photo was on the headlines so i grabbed it and also made it my profile photo. i love this photo. i love this bear. he's still adorable since when i first met him in the news a couple years ago. maybe one day i can get back over to Germany and see him. anyways, i'm a Big bear lover of any kind. this news story was the highlight of my day, (aside from O.J. finally going to prison:-) ). i wish there could be animal stories every day. when i win the lottery, that is millions and millions of dollars, sum will definitely go to the wildlife. i'm a HUGE Nature lover if you haven't noticed already. Bears were my first love as a kid. once i moved here to new mexico, i fell in love with wolves. maybe it was the coyotes that i heard singing up in the mountains that really brought that home. love the coyotes too. still see them from time to time around here. anyways, maybe one day i can do photo expeditions of the wildlife. i'm aware of a few places for that. just need to pull my resources together and do that, but after the Grand Canyon of course...lol.
so anyways, i'm still hangin in there. tomorrow our church hike group is back for our first hike in months. i'm taking them to Gallegos Park but will remain in the Open Space area. it'll be nice to get sum fresh air and enjoy sum company along the way. then i can come home and maybe decorate that Sugar Plum Tree of mine. much to do between now and next thursday including studying for a test in my class. it'll be good. it'll help me keep distracted. only 20days til Christmas. i can hardly wait...

Sugar Plum Tree

the radio is on. Christmas songs play and i'm feelin' fine at the moment. this morn i had another session with my therapist this time to talk about my holiday blues. she was telling me to create new Christmases, which i have been doing but the blues keep showing up. well she also told me i need a new association with the holiday. i immediately thought maybe something visual. something new visually like a purple tree....well, no sooner was i out the building from our session that i thought to myself i could go get purple paint and spray paint my tree i have (it's artificial) i went to the bookstore, had lunch and then went to buy purple paint. found it at Lowe's after a few phone calls. the darkest purple they had was titled Sugar Plum. i bought all 4 cans they had left with no clue if that would be enough. came home and dug out the tree. put it together and started painting. thankfully i put rugs underneath it for still part of the kitchen floor was purple when i finished. about three quarters into it being painted, the light bulb went on. can the paint handle the tree lights once they were on. well i talked to 3 people including the fire dept and they assured me it should be fine with ample drying time. the fire dept said 2-3days of drying. a friend suggested a week. so somewhere in between that time, i'll decorate. i did put a Christmas cd on while painting, one i had bought of Reba McEntire's last year but hadn't played. well it was the right music and the painiting was loads of fun. the twist here is i call Madison "Sugar Plum" often. so the Sugar Plum Tree is absolutely fitting. i'll always keep her in mind at Christmas from this point forward. i haven't seen her yet, but the tree will remind me of her. she's such a JOY in my heart always especially at Christmas:-)

on the website

this photo is on the Balloon Fiesta website. this is Madison atop her daddy's shoulders at the fiesta this year. her pure joy definitely shows thru here and she is such a treasure. Marsha's going to try and line me up with one day a week that i baby sit with her to help take my holiday blues away. we'll do it at her Grammy's house (Marsha's) where she's familiar with her surroundings. plus i can take her to the park too which is right down the street. i'll try and remember the camera but that may be too much while watching her at the same time. anyways, it'll be fun. plus Marsha and i were discussing Madison's Christmas gift. i've got the go ahead to get her that remote control car. i wanted to do it last year, but she was still too young. i have no doubt she'd get the hang of playing with the steering stick and watching it drive around all over the house. anyways, so come payday, i'm off to see if i can find her a Jeep car to go along with Auntie's (mine). it'll be fun just to go searchin'. i may give it to her early if i baby sit....lol. we'll see. all in good time. i look forward to anytime spent with her.
anyways, the month of december is a major challenge for me. with that said, i'll be in and out of journaling here. i'll try and stay caught up with everyone else's journals. mostly i'll be focusing on staying very busy to beat the blues. so far not too bad, but i realized today that maybe if i don't listen to too much Christmas music, that may help tremendously. i love the music, but it also triggers the problem. hopefully tidbits at a time will be enough. i'll be fine and i have plenty of books to stick my nose into to keep me distracted. i also have my therapist should i need to call her. i saw her today and we had a great session. the only not so good news there was she strongly suggested i don't become a practitioner at church, mostly not to do the counseling. a little disappointed, but maybe i can become a practitioner without doing the counseling. i'll be asking my mentor and probably Rev Julie about this. only time will tell for me. right now i'll just enjoy my class and complete that journey. Life is still Good. i am still grateful for many things. so until i'm back again, bless you!