where have I been?

quiet. peaceful. for once in over a week. or so it feels. i hadn't realized i've been away so long. the last week has been rough and i've barely made it thru. but i made it. it all started a week ago thursday in my class. we did a guided meditation and it opened my childhood wounds. that was ok for they surface at times on their own anyway. but it was the following day while feeling those wounds that i had an employee go off on me with much exploded anger. i felt like i got kicked to the curb. i called rev julie saturday. i cried daily for days. finally on tuesday i went to the mountain top to help heal my wounds and anger, for angry did i become at my employee. it took everything i had not to blow up at her. i scheduled an appointment with rev julie so we 3 could talk. so anyway, tuesday up on the mountain after hours there, i was lifted out of most of my anger. i started feeling better. on wednesday, Marsha invited me to a play for some laughs. our mutual friend George was in it, his first play. got to the play and it was not a comeday. it was The Laramie Project. a play surrounding the events of a young gay man killed in Laramie, WY ten years ago. i sat and watched with tears flowing feeling much compassion, shock and sadness. a rare occasion there was a laugh. the actors did a great job including George. the play in some respects reflected the hatred which i grew up in. the epitome of my father as he was back then. it was tough to endure at times, but i got thru it. at least on thursday i got to spend time with Madison for a couple hours. then friday, rev julie and i sat with my employee and talk. alas, i got to express my thoughts. it was a productive thought but i still feel my wounds and a tidbit of anger. i finally was able to relax last night, sleeping for 12hours. i woke refreshed. i had to go to church and my employee was there. damage has been done, but i will repair myself. time will continue my wounds. much hiking needed. i'll have more time since i also resigned this week working at my mentor's office. i'll also start riding my bike (motorcycle) on wednesday, weather permiting. at that time i'll get the insure in tact again. wont' ride without it. this summer will be loaded with lots of FUN!!! there's only about 6 weeks or so of class left. i'm more than ready for it to be over. but for now, tonight, i sit quietly reading and enjoying some women's basketball. tomorrow is a new day, a new dawn. if i can i'll make that sunrise...