waves...

i sense his presence from time to time. he has not gone far from us. he was here only a moment ago. i sit quietly in this place enjoying the solitude as a i get a break from the grief for it comes and goes like the ocean waves on the beach. the ebb and flow on its own course as my heart beats. some days are full of sunshine. some days heavy like a dark cloud but only giving great insight of my life to be. he gave me such a part of myself back, getting close to someone which i had no idea i could do so ever again. it was merely his presence in my life and the gift of himself which opened my heart so easily. i felt connected to him so deeply that i was uncertain at times if i was deceiving myself. but lo & behold i knew in a moment he was more than i could have imagined for he Lived such an enriching life. there could not have been a better man for me. i now wear his shirts keeping him my thoughts. we were similar in size and so much more. similar childhood pasts. shaped by those hardships then taking the road alone to our own adventures. then we met as our crossed paths at the same church & mutual friend. did i know him in another lifetime past? it could have been, but it does not matter for i am blessed more than words can say from his presence while it lasted. words fall way short of the depth of my feelings, but i'll never forget...