Tuesday, January 13, 2009

a prayer please...

And now the end is near
And so i face the final curtain,
My friends, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case of which I'm certain.
I've lived a life that's full, I've travelled each & evr'y highway
And more, much more than this, I did it my way. ~Paul Anka

this is a request for prayer for Jesse. alas, he is on his way out. two days ago he had a stroke and is now bedridden. up to that point, he was still moving around doing things much to the surprise of everyone. he said his cancer was going to have to take him, quote-unquote. it's finally caught up to him. we werent' sure exactly what happened at first, but yesterday this is what was surmised. he can't see anyone, he lost his sight. i had not known he lost sight in one eye already, but he's now lost it in his other eye. he's conscious at times, otherwise he's in and out of it. he lost his speech too and is communicating by shaking his head, yay or nay. Jesse has all along wanted to do it his way. he didnt' quite get out like he wanted for he didn't want to be bedridden. but this is where i ask for your prayers that he surrenders his body and moves on to other adventures in the unseen. he's still hanging on. he can be stubborn. Sandy and i figure this is where he needs to learn to surrender. we pray he doesn't stay in this condition long. all our prayers are needed. we've given him permission to go, now it's up to him. i did stop by and see him these past 3days. the previous two he was sleeping. today he was conscious a bit and so i spoke to him. i told him what my heart desired and kissed his cheek. i don't know for sure if he heard or understood completely what i said, but i feel at least he heard me somehow someway on some level. i stayed for a few hours with Sandy. i'll go every day until this transition for all of us has passed. Sandy gave me a gift today. a trunk that belonged to Jesse. he was selling it and i told her i'd buy it, but she insisted on giving it to me. also, Jesse has some rattlesnake skins hanging out in her garage. i'll probably take one of those too. we were wondering if he caught them himself and skinned them. i wouldn't be surprised if he did. Jesse was an adventurer throughout life. everyone loved his stories including me. he's going to be missed greatly and my heart breaks a little every day now. the only hard part for me is simply saying good-bye. he's been a blessing in my life although it's been short. he's taught me a few things about death and more about living. he'll be in my heart always. i wish we could have met sooner, but life didn't have it planned that way. he's a treasure in my heart. time will heal my loss. for now, i'll be visiting him every day. i'll keep you posted...

5 comments:

Martha said...

My prayers are on the way for Jesse - my thoughts are with you.

Anne said...

He knew you were there. It is through death that we learn the best of life lessons. Bless you for being there. Prayers happening. Gods will be done! Lovingly, Anne

Jude said...

My love and my prayers to you and Jesse. I hope the transition is easy on him.

Julie said...

It is so hard watching a loved one pass but comforting for them to have you there. Hugs.

Indigo said...

Jesse is in my prayers on the smoke dear one. Stay strong for him. Your in my thoughts always! (Hugs)Indigo